wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
