You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
