Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
