We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
