I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
