People in love make me want to vomit
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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