What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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