your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
