we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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