thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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