You're so nebulous sometimes
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
