belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
