my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
