Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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