ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
