Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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