so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
