he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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