I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
