so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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