I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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