Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
