I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
