Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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