trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
