what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
