and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
