I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
