people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
