I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I will pee on everything he values.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
