dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
