I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
