Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
