remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
