so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Randomize
