yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
