I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
