Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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