okay pat passed out under dana's car
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
