And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize