I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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