but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
