...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
