You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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