I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
