Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
