He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize