So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
