The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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