I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
