On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
